Defining Love

Love is something that most people cherish.  Without a doubt, its a word that we throw around a lot.  So it should be something that we have a good understanding of.  It should be well defined in our minds.

There is more than one type of love.  There is the love between friends.  There is the love between family.  There is the love between man and wife.  There is the love shown to strangers.  And finally, most importantly, there is the love of God.  Every kind of good love comes from God.  But there are other things that some people call love, which would more accurately be called lust.  The want of sex, money and prestige is certainly not love; if it is love, its a bad kind of love.

Love is not a feeling.  I'm sure you've seen it before in romance movies, someone is so overcome with love they can't help it.  There's the words "I think I'm in love with you," and "I've fallen in love."  The idea of being "in love" or "falling in love" is very far from biblical.  Its the idea of Cupid and his arrows, as if love just mysteriously happens to a person.  Love is a decision and a commitment, not a feeling.  Feelings accompany love, but love is not based on feelings.  Why?  Think of how often your feelings change.  Feelings are fickle.  Rather, love is a choice.  Its much like choosing to brush your teeth.  Nobody ever says "I am suddenly overcome with the urge to brush my teeth," as if Colgate Cupid shot him with his arrow.  But when you choose to brush your teeth, the sensation comes afterwards.  After a person brushes his teeth, he might say, "My mouth feels fresh and clean."  So the basis of the act of love is a person choosing love, not feeling love.  The feelings come later.  They are not necessary for the love to exist.

Love is a verb.  Its something we do.  Its an act of love to give.  Its an act of love to care for someone.  Its an act of love to sacrifice for someone.  Its an act of love to worship God.  Love is motion.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. -Jesus in John 15:13

Love cares for the ultimate good of someone.  We tend to think of being kind as being loving, and its true that love involves kindness, but love also involves rebuke, correction and sometimes punishment.  If a parent really loves his children, he will punish their misbehavior, because he doesn't want his children to develop bad habits.  That's because he cares for the ultimate good of his children.  In the same way, if someone loves their friend, and sees their friend living sinfully, he will warn him.  Rebuke and punishment are not always seen as love in our society because they're unpleasant things, but it is love to care for the ultimate good of someone, even if it means some temporary pain.  All that ends well is well.